NASA To Team With Redbull – Lightly Braised Turnip

NASA Looks To Use Red Bull Technology After Successful Journey And Leap Home From Space

By TRAVIS MOORE
Published October 17, 2012

Red Bull might have started 2012 as the seller of caffeine drinks for buzz-heads, but it might end it as an integral part of America’s space program.

As Space Shuttle Endeavor takes its place in a Los Angeles museum, the U.S. has no way of delivering astronauts to the International Space Station (“ISS”) or bringing them home.  In embarrassing  fashion the U.S. has been forced to rely upon the Russian Space Agency and its Soyuz rockets to carry Americans to the ISS.

On October 16 Red Bull and its own amateur astronaut – stuntman Felix Baumgartner – may have given the U.S. a new option for trips to the ISS.  NASA engineers are abuzz about Baumgartner’s voyage to the edge of space in a balloon and his return in nothing more than a space suit. 

NASA now plans to develop its own balloon and space suit for astronauts to rise into space and then descend back to Earth from the ISS.  Initial discussions have called for astronauts to make a “balloon ascent” and then at the end of the space station visit “walk home” – or, in other words, free fall to Earth from the space station without any shuttle or space capsule.  The astronaut would rely only upon a protective suit based upon Baumgartner’s.

The ride home will be rougher and might require a little push off the space station – but it will work. – Iowa State University Astrophysics Professor Liam Kim

NASA-watchers are intrigued.  Iowa State University Astrophysics Professor Liam Kim said that use of helium balloons and free fall back to Earth could rescue NASA from budget problems.  “This means that NASA will not need to develop a new rocket,” said Kim.  “The ride home will be rougher and might require a little push off the space station – but it will work,” Kim added.  Kim said that something as simple as a fire extinguisher or seltzer bottle could be used by an astronaut to gain his or her initial thrust towards Earth.

Prominent lunar landing conspiracy theorist and best-selling author Bart Sibrol was skeptical of the plan.  “This is like replacing your 1980 Olds Cutlass Supreme with a pair of beat-up sneakers,” he said.  “What self-respecting astronaut will want to jump home from the space station.”  Moreover, Sibrol said that Baumgartner has his doubters.  “10 people said they saw him drinking beer in a Los Alamos bar when he supposedly was falling from space,” he said.

Baumgartner has been silent on rumors circulating that his historic freefall was an elaborate hoax.  Most dismiss Sibrol’s claim as an unsubstantiated conspiracy theory.

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