Pull Out Of South Korea And Deal With Kim Jong-Un – Lightly Braised Turnip

By CHARLES C. SCHULTZ

 

Let us get something straight.  Korean women are the best looking of our Asian varietals.  I know those bony Southeast Asian women have their proponents, but Southeast Asians make only the best-looking transvestites.

But how about those Hyundais?  Each passing year they look more and more like a genuine Mercedes.  Not my style, but they sure are trying.

Here is the question: Isn’t it worth giving up Korean snatch and Hyundais to get our people out of South Korea and get a clear shot at Kim Jong-un before they can vaporize Disneyland with a long range missile?

Let’s get introspective.  Our original reason for being there — keeping Communism in check — is over.  We have no compelling reason to be there.

On the other hand, we have plenty of reasons not to be there.  Dig this: We have underestimated foreign threats before.  Recall how the US so easily dismissed the rantings of Osama bin Laden?  He did not have atomic bombs or missiles, but he found a way to hurt us.  Why do we presume that the isolated and desperate chubby little man governing North Korea is a non-threat?  Why do we presume from a half a world away and a completely different culture that he will act “rationally”?  How many hostile invectives does he need to hurl our way before we consider there might be a danger?

Recall how the US so easily dismissed the rantings of Osama bin Laden?  

More pointedly, when has a country with a nuclear bomb ever promised us it was going to use it on us? Russia grimaced at us and pounded the table, but never told us it was going to launch a nuclear attack.  North Korea has.

All of the inept ninnies in the Washington, D.C.-New York City corridor keep assuring us that North Koreans lack the technology to arm a missile with an atomic weapon that could reach the continental United States.  First, that is a little comfort to our pioneers in Alaska.  More importantly – after all, who cares about Alaskans? – did we need intercontinental ballistic missiles when we used nuclear weapons?  We dropped them out of airplanes over Japan! 

Our same lack of imagination that allowed Muslims to fly a bunch of jet planes and into our national symbols could allow Kim Jong-un to blow a huge gaping hole in the middle of the L.A. basin.

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