Compounding the problem, our society assures these women that after wrinkles and saggy bosoms have replaced the glow of their youth that they are just as beautiful as before. They are like the frog dropped in the pot of slowly heated water. No one warns them as the water heats up. Instead, our media – hello, Sex and the City – lies to them. Don’t worry about jumping out, froggie. You will always be beautiful. Life for you will always be this easy and exciting. That strange sensation you feel, froggie, is not your internal organs boiling inside your body but merely that wonderful sense of satisfaction every woman feels when she is being “strong” and “independent.” Don’t change a thing. Don’t panic. Because you’re ama-a-a-azing. Lies! Lies!
A recent scientific study shows that there is much for our elder single women to worry about.
A 2011 University of Michigan study [OK, my own estimates based on what all males can easily observe] confirms that female dating value plummets even while they insist that they are “nothing less than perfect.” Female dating value drops into the negative range at age 47. This means that in the age of free pornography and affordable lubricants, men would prefer to date no one than date women over 47. Sobering news for older single women still waiting for “Mister Right.”
2011 University of Michigan
At very most, the media tells single women that our culture has trained men to be attracted to younger women. Of course, any thinking person knows that sexually reproducing male animals will have instincts that draw them to women with many years of fertility remaining. If one were to compare a fertility chart to the chart above, the correlation would be near perfect.
For decades up until the 1990s, little girls would play a card game called “Old Maid.” The goal of the game was to match up compatible mating pairs of singles and avoid being the “old maid” by getting stuck with the single old maid card. Moral of the game: find a compatible male companion to avoid being an old, childless, single woman. There was no Prince Charming jackpot card for the females in Old Maid; their objective was to find someone similar to themselves, not better. Perhaps we need to give every young woman in the U.S. an Old Maid card set.
Today in the corridors of our nation’s biggest cities, our most prized women have rotted on the vine. They grow more and more rotten each month because they do not realize that their beauty is now a mere chimera. It is a faded image that male suitors can only extrapolate from their high cheekbones, brightly-colored eyes and well-maintained — but slightly sagging and wrinkled — physique.
In addiction treatment, they say first you must admit you have a problem. The same is true with aging single women. But before they can admit to their problem, they need to hear it. It is time that more of us say it. Really, it’s OK. I’m still typing, so it can’t be fatal. We’ll do together. Just read it softly and then a little louder each time. Say it at the gym. Say it in the line at your coffee shop. Say it at your next office party. Open your window so that a fresh breeze blows in and say it — no, yell it with me now: Women over 30 are ugly! Women over 30 are ugly! Women over 30 are ugly!